For those of you who have somehow never seen a high school production of "The Music Man", the plot goes something like this. A con man by the name of Harold Hill comes to River City and convinces the town folk that their youth are on the slippery road to perdition, and that the only solution is to establish a wholesome marching band that Hill is happy to lead. Just pay in advance for those band uniforms and instruments, please.
The modern use of stock-based compensation is a confidence game, in the true sense of the word, that would be very familiar to Harold Hill. What's the slippery road to perdition? My goodness, it appears that your management team doesn't have enough skin in the game. Surely disaster is nigh! The solution? Why, stock-based compensation, of course. Wholesome profits for all will flow like water once management's interests are "properly aligned" with shareholders. Just pay in advance, please.
You pooped in the refrigerator AND ate the whole wheel of cheese?
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